A month or so later
Amber's View

"I can't wait to see AJ again," I said to Rhonda as we carried our numerous shopping bags into the elevator.
"I can't believe we bought so much stuff!" Rhonda replied jokingly as she struggled to push the elevator buttons.
"Oh come on I saw that little purple teddy – you can't tell me your not gonna wear that tonight to welcome Howie back." Rhonda blushed and I laughed.

These past few weeks with Rhonda had been a blast! It was just like it was when we had lived in NY; late night ice cream, all night movie sessions; borrowing each others clothes and most important of all, no signs of Steve. I was hoping in my heart of hearts that he had finally decided to move on with his life and leave my life alone.

Rhonda was struggling again this time to open the door without dropping all her bags. "Here let me get those," I said taking some of the bags off her arm.
"Thanks," she said as she opened the door and stepped in. "WHAT THE FUCK!"
"What?" I said as I walked in behind her. "OH MY GOD!" I said as I dropped to the floor. The apartment was trashed! The t.v. was smashed along with the computer, drawers were pulled out, the couch shredded and flipped, and pictures broken and pulled down off the walls. There were also words spray painted all over; "bitch"," slut", "whore" – but the words that filled my heart with fear were the ones painted in the biggest lettering on the wall facing the door…"Guess Who?"

"Surprise!" we heard from behind us. Rhonda and I nearly jumped out of our skins. We turned around prepared to fight for our lives when we saw Howie standing in the doorway with Brian and Kevin. The looks on their faces said it all as they just stood there taking in all the chaos around them. Howie dropped the roses he was carrying and ran to Rhonda's side. Brian came over to me and I lost it. He hugged me tightly as I sobbed.

"Where's AJ and Nick?" I heard Rhonda ask through her own tears.
"They're parking the cars, they should be right up. What happened here honey?" Howie said as he tried to comfort her.
"What the hell?!" AJ stepped through the doorway.
"What's going on?" Nick said as he too came in.
AJ ran over to me and took me from Brian's arms. I held on to him as hard as I possibly could. I felt safer with him just being there. My sobs started to die down. AJ pushed my hair back out of my face, wiped my tears away, and looked me in the eye. "Tell me what's going on," he said.
I looked away – I couldn't stand to look into those eyes knowing that what I had to tell him might cause me to lose him like it had Dan. Brian walked up behind me and put a hand on my back. "You have to tell him," he said.
"Babe," AJ said and forcing my head around so I had to look in his eyes again "I love you please tell me what's going on."
As I looked into his eyes I knew he meant it – he did love me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and told him the whole story. I told him that after Devon and I broke up I had turned to Steve for a shoulder to cry on. I didn't really see any one else that year so eventually our friendship went back to the way it was before Devon had ever entered the picture. Things started to get weird again the night of our graduation.
Steve and I had been invited to several graduation parties and had decided to go one that was being thrown by a guy named Doug, who had the reputation for throwing the wildest parties. Neither one of us had a date so we decided to go together and have a blast before we had to start thinking about heading off to college.

When we got there we did what normal kids our age would do at a wild party. We grabbed some beers and headed out to where everybody was dancing. I guess I had too many drinks that night cause when I woke up the next morning I was laying in Steve's bed next to him. He was just lying there smiling and staring at me.

"Good morning sweetheart, guess who," he said as he brushed my hair out of my eyes.
I sat up in bed and pulled the covers around me. "Oh my god," I said looking desperately around to find my clothes. "What happened last night?"
"Don't you remember?" he said caressing my arm.
I pulled away from him, "Don't do that."
"Why not that's what boyfriends are supposed to do to their girlfriends."
"Steve I don't know what the hell happened last night but we are not boyfriend and girlfriend." I spotted my clothes and threw them on.
"Yes we are," Steve said getting dressed too. "Don't you remember – you told me you loved me last night."
"I don't love that way Steve, whatever I said last night I said because I was drunk."
"No you didn't, you love me why can't you see that?" he said walking towards me "We were meant to be together." I was beginning to get scared now. Steve had a look in his eyes that I had never seen before.
"I need to go Steve," I said as I turned and walked towards the door. He grabbed me and kissed me. I struggled to get loose from him. Finally he let me go and I turned and ran out the door. I could hear him shouting behind me, "You do love me and I'm going to make you realize it one day."

I tried to avoid Steve after that but it seemed like no matter where I went there he was. He even attended a community college a few miles from Stanford and would always show up on campus. I would always find little messages stuck to my door and car windows. They all said the same thing 'Guess who?' They were easy enough to ignore but then things got even worse. I would come back to my room and find messages on the answering machine Rhonda and I shared…

"Guess who? My friend here says that he knows you and that you're a little slut. Are you? Is that what you're doing up there at Stanford, fucking everyone? I hope not because you and me were meant to be together and I'd hate to think that the girl I love would even think of acting that way."…
"Guess who? I saw you with some guy today – you better stay away if you know what's good for him"…
I would always erase the messages before Rhonda found them even though she wasn't there that often. I knew something was up between her and Cal and I didn't think she needed to hear about my problems on top of that. Besides I figured I could handle it but once again Steve started to get worse. I would find pictures of me and the guys I would date with blood drawn on them in red marker and burn holes where their faces should have been and of course his ever familiar signature. I told security about what was going on and they told me they'd look into it but unless he attacked me there wasn't a lot they could do about it.

The day I found Rhonda beaten up at Cal's place I had found one of those pictures, with the guys from the club lying on my bed. I hate to say it I was so glad when security was beefed up around our dorm because of Rhonda. That's when I decided that it was a good time for me and Rhonda to both leave California and head to NY. On the trip to NY was the first time I had told anyone what was going on with Steve but I knew Rhonda would be the one person who would understand.

I took another deep breath and continued on with my story.

Time went by and I met Dan. He was the first guy I ever felt comfortable enough to start dating after leaving Steve and California behind. But it wasn't long before I started getting the notes and messages again. At first Dan was sure I was cheating on him but after I told him what had happened in the past and Rhonda confirmed it he started to get very mad at Steve. We went and got a restraining order against him and we installed a new security system in our house.

Nothing seemed to detour Steve and over the years his messages became more graphic and violent. Dan started to get angry with me over them and somehow blaming Steve on me. When the subject of marriage eventually came up after almost three years of dating, he told me he could never marry me with Steve still in the picture. I think he was scared of what Steve would do if we ever did get married. Eventually it became too much of a strain on our relationship and we broke up. That's when I decided to quietly pack up and move down here. I was going to cover my tracks well this time so Steve would never interfere in my life again.

A couple days before I was supposed to leave I came home to the hotel I was staying at, (I let Dan take the house since I was moving anyway), to find Steve in my room with a bouquet of pink roses.
"Here," he said trying to hand them to me. "My friend Cal said you might enjoy these."
"Cal? You know Cal?"
"Yeah me and him have known each other for awhile now ever since you and his bitch were roommates." I must have looked shocked at that statement because the sneer he gave me matched the coldness of his eyes. "I see you finally got rid of Dan. Does this mean you've finally realized you love me?"
"Steve," I said slowly backing up towards the door, "I've told you before that I don't love you. Please just leave me alone." I turned around to leave when Steve grabbed me from behind and twisted my arm painfully behind my back.
"Cal said you would say that. He said you were a slut!" Steve pushed me onto the bed and covered my mouth with his hand so I couldn't scream. "Do you know what else he said? Do you?!" he shouted as he twisted my arm even harder. I shook my head no, tears pouring down my face. "He said I was going to have to make you love me the way he made your friend love him!"
Steve pulled his hand away from my mouth only to replace it with his lips. His kiss was hard and forceful and made me want to gag. His hands began to undo the buttons of my pants and shirt, I began to really struggle and tried to scream. Steve sat up and slapped me. "Shut the fuck up!" he said as he slapped me again "You're gonna learn who your supposed to be with tonight," he said as he once again started to kiss me.
"He's gonna rape me," I thought as he went back to undo my pants and then started to undo his. At that moment all I could think about was escape so I did the only thing I could think of doing…I bit down hard on his lip as I kneed his groin. As soon as he fell back in pain I ran. I ran out of the hotel – I ran out to my car – and I ran all the way down to here.

I looked at everyone when I finished telling the story. Howie was holding a crying Rhonda on the couch, trying to comfort her "Why didn't you tell me?" was all she could say.
"Where did the two of you meet guys at, Psychos R Us?" Nick asked his face bleak from the thought of what had happened.
Then I looked up at AJ, there were tears in his eyes as he pulled me to him and just stood there holding me. "Baby…I'm so sorry…I…I," he held my face in his hands and touched his forehead to mine, "I swear on my life he will never hurt you again."
We were still standing there in an embrace when AJ suddenly let go of me and walked out of the room. Everyone kind of sat there in a stunned silence wondering what would cause him to leave me standing there in the middle of the room after a story like that. AJ emerged a while later carrying a box that he set down in front of my feet.
"What's that for?" I asked puzzled.
"For you to pack your stuff in," he said shoving the box even closer to me "Your moving in with me."
"But what about Rhonda?" I asked not wanting her to be alone.
"Don't worry about her," Howie said still holding Rhonda in his arms, "She's coming to stay with me and my parents." Rhonda looked up in surprise but didn't say anything.
"Do you really think that after a story like that I'm gonna let you stay by yourself? I'm not taking no for an answer so start packing – in fact we'll all help the two of you pack," AJ said grabbing the box and heading towards the bedroom. The rest of the guys weren't far behind him.

AJ helped me sort through everything that wasn't trashed in my room while Howie and Rhonda did the same in hers. Nick and Kevin cleaned up what was left in the living room and kitchen and Brian took AJ's truck and went to pick up more boxes for us to put things in.
"Do you want to keep this?" AJ asked as he picked up a glass figurine that had luckily only been chipped.
I looked at it and shook my head yes. Tears began to form again when came across the pictures that were once in the now broken frames. The first was a picture of my family in NY – it had been torn in half. I turned another picture frame over to find that the picture of me and AJ had been completely shredded. AJ came and looked over my shoulder at the pieces of the pictures that were lying in front of me.

"Don't worry," he said softly "We'll replace those honey."
"You know," I said looking around the room and shivering. "I don't want any of the stuff in here…I couldn't…not after he was…" I stuttered trying to find the words that expressed how I felt about having my room violated like that.
"Good that makes packing a lot easier. We'll go and get you new things and our place still needs to be decorated so you can make that feel like your home."
"I think I like the sound of that." I said with a smile.
"The sound of what?"
"Our place."

I walked around AJ's house trying to get the feel for it. Well, I guess it was my house too now. I mentally made notes to where some of the paintings in the gallery would go. Maybe if I had something of mine in here it would help make this place seem more like my home. I came to a one of the smaller rooms and walked inside. "Hmmmm" I said thinking to myself, "This would make a great studio. The light in here is perfect for painting." I walked over to the window and looked out.

I caught sight of one of the extra security men that AJ had hired last night after we left Rhonda's apartment. I knew the security he already had would have been enough but he had hired extra to make me feel safer and I loved him for that.

"Hey honey – find a room you like?" AJ said walking in a kissing me.
"I like them all!" I said laughing "I just don't know what I'm gonna do with all of them."
"Well…we could christen all of them – if you know what I mean."
"Is that all you think about?" I said playfully shoving him.
He grew all of a sudden serious. "No more or less these days I think of how much you mean to me and how I would give anything to make you happy. I love you."
"I know you do." I said quietly. AJ's face fell a little when I didn't say it back to him. I loved him, I truly did – I just wasn't ready to say it to him. Not yet. Instead I took his face in my hands and gave him a soft kiss. AJ smiled slightly and kissed me back.