It was Valentine's Day and I actually had a valentine but unfortunately, he was in another state "doing his job". I called my friend Amber – she always seemed to cheer me up – maybe cause her life was as bizarre as mine! Even though it was long distance, we sat on the telephone for hours. We ate ice cream (chocolate chip cookie dough of course!) and watched "Sleepless in Seattle" together. I told her about Howie and how things were going really well. I talked about Howie all of the time and Amber couldn't wait to meet him when she moved down there the following week.

"I just keep looking over my shoulder. You know it's my luck that every time my life starts looking up – Cal shows up."
"Rhon – he's in jail. He cannot hurt you anymore."
"I know he is but…ugh!! Why can't he just go away forever and leave me alone!!"
Just then there was a knock at my door – I jumped so high and dropped my ice cream on the couch. "Fuck!"
"Rhon – what happened?"
"Someone's at my door – come with me to answer it." It seemed like anytime that I talked about Cal he would show up and find me. "Don't be stupid," I thought.
"Who is there??" Amber said anxiously.
I looked out my peephole and saw roses – a ton of roses! I slowly opened the door and heard "Did you miss me?"
"Amber I gotta call you back."
"Rhon – you're scaring me!"
"Don't be scared its just Howie."
"Not fair!! Ugh, fine!! Call me tomorrow with all the details! All of them woman!!"
"Well you didn't answer me – did you miss…?"
I didn't let him finish his sentence – I pulled him into my apartment and kissed him. He dropped the roses and pulled me in tighter. "Oh wait a minute," he said.
"Wait??"

"Yeah wait a minute – geez, you act like I haven't seen you in how long?" he laughed as he opened the door and went out into the hallway. I rolled my eyes and picked up the beautiful red and yellow roses. Howie has gotten me red and yellow roses ever since I told him that my "ex" used to buy me pink ones. I loved him for remembering about the pink roses. I was looking for my vase when I heard Howie dropping stuff in the doorway. I turned around to look at him and all I saw was this giant white teddy bear. The thing was practically as big as he was. I couldn't help but laugh. "Mr. Bear" had balloons tied around his wrists – 17 of them to be exact – one for each week Howie and I have been together. I had to laugh because one of the balloons said "Happy Birthday" – he said that they ran out of the "I love you" balloons and he just picked one whose colors matched the rest. "How did I get this guy?" I thought to myself but realized I didn't care how I got him. I only knew that I had to keep him.

Howie kissed me and I thought I was going to melt in his arms. He pulled away, smacked me on my ass and said, "Okay go get ready."
"And what am I getting ready for?"
"We are going to have the most romantic evening you have ever had in your life. Just go get dressed."
"Any special request on what I should wear?" I asked as I batted my eyes at him.
"You know what I like," Howie winked and I knew exactly what to wear.
"Okay – I'll be back in a few." I kissed him again and he almost didn't let go of me.
"Go!! We're going to be late."
"Well if you would let go of me I could get ready a lot quicker."
"Okay – okay you're right," he said, "but just one more kiss."

I gave him a quick kiss and ran off into my bedroom and found my little black spaghetti strap dress that I knew was Howie's favorite. Howie always kissed my neck and shoulders when I wore it – he found my weak spot! When I came out of the bedroom, all the lights in my apartment were off. I walked down the hallway towards the living room that was filled with candles that Howie was in the process of lighting.

"Can't you take ten more minutes to get ready?" he said. "Geez I even take longer to get ready than you do!" I had to laugh cause I knew that was true.
"Okay – I'll go back in my room. Just let me know when you're ready."

I got into my room and grabbed the telephone and called Amber to give her some of the details. I knew that her and her boyfriend Dan had just broken up but I had to tell someone what Howie did.
"He bought you how many roses? And a bear? And balloons? Does he have a brother? Or better yet, do you think you can clone him for me?" "Well he does have a brother but he's ten years older than him and no I won't clone him! But he does have some cute friends I could introduce you to when you get down here."
"Okay I'm ready for you now!" I heard Howie shout from the living room.
"Gotta go! I'll call ya tomorrow!!"
"Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," Amber said.

I went out into the living room and gasped in amazement. Howie had candles everywhere, the roses were strategically laid around a picnic blanket and basket in the middle of the floor. The balloons – even the Happy Birthday balloon – were floating on the ceiling above the blanket. It was perfect – especially since Howie was there.

"Oh wait a sec – I forgot the music," he said. "Any requests?"
"Anything you pick will be perfect."
Howie opened his bag and searched through his CD's for awhile before coming up with the "perfect song". He picked up a single red rose and handed it to me as he pulled me into his arms.

They read you Cinderella – You hoped it would come true
That one day your Prince Charming – Would come rescue you
You like romantic movies – You never will forget
The way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet
All this time that you've been waiting
You don't have to wait no more

Howie began to sing in me ear and held me even closer.

I can love you like that – I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I will give you my heart – Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance – I can love you like that

Howie must have either felt the tears that soaked his shirt or heard me sniffle because he stopped singing and dancing and said, "Oh baby – don't cry! The last thing I wanted to do was make you cry!" I looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes.
I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "Their not sad tears – their happy tears. I've never been treated so well before – I guess I'm not used to it."

"Well you better get used to it because I'm going to treat you like a queen. Baby, I know that you've been through a bad relationship – but I promise you that's in the past. You have nothing to worry about with me. I love you and you mean the world to me. In the last few months you have become my best friend, my lover and I couldn't make you more perfect in my dreams. " By looking into his big brown eyes, I knew that he meant it. Howie and I spent the rest of the evening staring into each other's eyes, holding each other in our arms and dancing to "our song" over and over and over again.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep
So when I say forever, forever's what I mean
I'm no Cassanova but I swear this much is true
I'll be holding nothing back when it comes to you
You dream of love that's everlasting
Well baby open up your eyes
I can love you like that – I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I will give you my heart – Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance – I can love you like that

I think it was around 4:00 in the morning when I woke Howie up. I didn't mean to – I had a bad dream and was standing on the bed screaming. I guess that would wake anyone up.
"Oh my god what !?! What's happening?!?!?" Howie screamed and stood up on the bed with me.
I just fell to my knees and began to weep. After a perfect evening with Howie, this was going to ruin it. I just looked up at him and cried even harder.
"Honey – you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on."
Between cries I was able to get out "You wouldn't understand – you'll leave – if I tell you I'll lose you."
Howie got off of the bed and looked around for his pants. He put them on and walked out of the bedroom. I crawled back under the blankets and buried my head in my pillow. "I knew it was too good to last," I thought.
A few minutes later Howie came back into the bedroom. "Sit up," he said.
I shook my head no. I suddenly felt something cold on my back – "What the hell?" I looked over at Howie as he sat on the bed with ice cream and two spoons.
"Here – ice cream always makes problems go away."
"Not this one."
"Well, it won't hurt to try it, right?"
I hesitantly sat up and pulled the blanket up around me.
"Here – put my shirt on," Howie said as he handed me his shirt. It smelled like him and was very comforting. "Was this dream about Cal?"
I looked at him and took the deepest breath ever, grabbed the ice cream and a spoon, "Yep – good guess." I knew that Howie was starting to be able to read inside of me.
"Well I know there is more to the story than it just being a bad relationship. Are you ready to tell me a little bit more?"
I took a huge spoonful of ice cream and began the story.